Day 11: Mike Clark in Thailand

I’m staying at the Hilton in Hua Hin and I must say, after 2 days, I’ve got the breakfast chef sorted out and we are on the same page. He’s the Michael Angelo of the 2 well done fried eggs and I’m toasting white bread and applying a little Dijon mustard and given the unlimited supply of crispy hickory smoked bacon, our combined efforts yield the “Mona Lisa” of breakfast sandwiches. Can’t go wrong with a start like that.

Today I’m playing Pineapple Valley and it’s the absolute best I’ve played so far. It’s green, and immaculately maintained. To their credit and my utmost satisfaction, they have a range with grass and a spectacular short game area that I plan on using tomorrow to the full extent, as I’m returning here for a second round.

It was quite busy when my tee time came around and I’m paired with Casper The Friendly Ghost and his wife.  They are covered from head to toe in white garb and the icing on the cake is the absolutely ridiculous face mask both of these folks have on. I’m  in the sun all the time and I’m now pretty diligent about using sun screen. I know my face is sun damaged regardless, but my ego and I guess also my vanity is not. Never and I repeat Never…would I walk around in public looking as stupid as these dolts look.  I couldn’t look either of them in the face / mask without laughing.

Both of them sucked as players and I’d play one shot to their 3-4. My caddie Ta had also seen enough topping and hitting it fat by Casper or the Mrs. and we abandoned the masked choppers to jump ahead 4 holes …..and then it was just she and I.

Today I hit the ball remarkably well on a tough, long and windy layout. I hit more 4-5-6 irons today than I have in ages, but didn’t have a single birdie. I missed 4 greens all day and had some good chances, but just couldn’t make anything.

Two three putts inside 15 feet which began their journey above the hole, only to watch the ball roll and roll and keep rolling until I had 8 footers coming back….. both of which I missed.
I was two over heading into 18 with one more chance at a circle on the card. Career drive for me down the middle, downwind and with roll out ….290.

I’ve got 128 into the pin, hit it slightly fat but right on line and end up on the fringe.  I play a nice little chip that rolls out and I’ve got less than 4 feet of flat putt for a least a par. NOPE…. Lip out and another f…….ing bogey from the fringe and a 75.

Please refer to the picture of me lying on my back writhing in agony.  Just like home, I gather myself up, and wash away my tears with a Singha draft and a Salt shaker. It’s the Stag beer of Thailand. Cheers to the boys back home.

Tomorrow same course…. Same caddie…. Hopefully new attitude.  Just a couple birdies would be nice.