Day 5: Mike Clark in Thailand

It’s Sunday and today I’m off to Aquella Golf and Country Club about an hour and a half from my hotel in Phuket. I have a new driver today by the name of Shan. She greets me in the hotel lobby with all the bows and whistles of a Thai greeting and a quick load of the sticks and we are off and running.

I’m soon to find out that Shan is to the Toyota Camry what Danica Patrick is to the Indy car. She handles that Camry with unbelievable precision around tiny narrow streets barely big enough for a car and one scooter dodging people, other cars and oncoming traffic and obstacles with absolute ease. Give her a straight stretch of road and I can clearly read the 60klm speed limit sign as it flashes past in a blurr and a quick glance at her speedometer reveals we are going 120 plus. Shan is basically like all women I have ever known in the fact that they are either cold or freezing. This being despite the sweater folded in her lap.

I, on the other hand, am sitting in the hot box back seat with my already damp shirt, sweating and sticking to the seat in all areas. I politely ask Shan to “please turn up the AC fan” which she reluctantly does, but after a few miles I’m birddog watching her and she just can’t keep her hands off the thermostat and fan. I’d like to take in the sights as they go flashing by but it’s definitely in my best interest to keep my eyes fixated straight ahead in front of me inhaling whatever cool air I can get and doing my utmost to not barf up my mango banana breakfast smoothie.

When we mercifully reach the entrance to Aquella Golf and Country Club it’s impressive by any standards. The Tahitian architecture is very stately to say the least and as we get to the bag drop, people are all falling all over each other to try and help. You, as the player, don’t touch a thing. First class all the way here no doubt. I’m lead to the locker rooms and my name is already on #72. That’s a good sign for sure. I drop off my change of clothes and head outside to meet Omie.

I can’t hardly see her as she’s covered from face-head to toe in her uniform. I don’t see how any of these gals are not roasted alive in polyester. I haven’t hit a ball and I’m already sweating and fancy club or not, I’m untucking my shirt and playing “Missouri style”.

This course is immaculate. Perfect fairways despite almost 2 inches of rain here last night, smooth closely mown putting surfaces and beautiful surrounds. Someone certainly has their act together here. There are a lot of Pete Dye style bulkhead bunkers that frame the greens and it’s quite picturesque.

The disaster, that was yesterday, is soon forgotten with a quick birdie on #1. No playing partners again today, just Omie and I and she’s a heck of a cheer leader. I’m playing today at 6,500 yards and minimal roll, but not a blade of monkey grass in sight.

Omie is doing a great job of telling me where to avoid and what lines to take for the best angles to the greens and I’m hitting it where she instructs. We wind up the day with 4 birdies to just the one bogey and a crowd pleasing 69. That’s more like it and I’ll probably have to have a shoulder massage tonight from all the patting myself on the back I’m doing, but I really could not have played much better.

Hats off to this club as everything is first class all the way. As I sit having a bite of lunch after my round, enjoying a beer and writing this, even though I enjoyed the club shower and fresh change of clothes after the round, I’m sure I’m going to be in need of another when I get home and out of the Shan Camry sauna.

Cheers from Thailand!